Baltimanual :: Frequently Asked Questions

Yes and no. The various TV versions of Baltimore do give an accurate sense of some of the city’s biggest problems, especially its well-established street trade in narcotics and the violence that goes with it; Baltimore’s per capita murder rate remains one of the highest in the country and gang-related violence is a growing threat. That said, as long as you’re not buying drugs or selling drugs or spending a lot of time where drugs are bought and sold, your chances of being the victim of a violent crime are relatively remote.

Can I get around without a car?

You can, but it’s not going to be easy. Baltimore’s creaky public-transportation system features three different modes—buses, light rail, and a subway—that don’t connect with each other very well, and they don’t connect with many parts of town very well, either. See Transportation for a more comprehensive guide to how prohibitive it would be given your situation/plans.

Where can I get a good crab cake?

See Dining, but, really, you can get a crab cake in pretty much any city. The ones here set the standard, mind you, but still. The real signature Baltimore crustacean experience is eating steamed blue crabs, which you can score in crabhouses or from seafood vendors during the season, which runs roughly May-September. Ask a local for a recommendation on the best place to get a dozen heavies; he or she is certain to have an opinion. All that said, the baby-head-sized crab cake on offer at Faidley’s Seafood in Lexington Market is not necessarily the most gourmet version in town, but it’s a memorable eating experience for sure.

Does John Waters still live there? Will I see him out and about?

Yes, and maybe. Though he spends part of his time in New York and elsewhere, the city’s favorite trash auteur/ubiquitous talking head still lives in an out-of-the-way nook of one of its tonier neighborhoods. He still frequents a number of local bars, possibly because his fellow Baltimoreans generally don’t make a big deal out of his presence. Let’s keep that up, shall we?

Can you swim in the Inner Harbor?

You can, provided you can find a place to get out, as well as a place to get in, but the water isn’t exactly sparkling—leaked sewage and floating garbage are pretty common. Put another way, we know people who have wound up in the water, by accident or otherwise, and survived, but it’s not something we would advise you to do if you have a choice.

How far away is the beach?

You can reach the shores of the Chesapeake Bay proper in about an hour, give or take, depending on the traffic. (Rush hour slows down the major routes east; folks heading to and from the water on Fridays and Sundays in the warmer months often slow it even more.) The bay is notably short on “beach,” though, with the closest stand-in being Sandy Point State Park. Ocean City, Maryland’s big beach town with its boardwalk and funnel-cake stands, is about 3 1/2 hours away; Rehoboth, Del., a smaller, more sedate, and perhaps slightly hipper beach town, is just 23 miles or so north of OC.

What’s with this “downy ocean” thing?

It’s a widespread local goof based on the way people with thick Baltimore accents might say “down the ocean,” as in that’s where I’m going this weekend.

What does a Baltimore accent sound like?

It’s pretty weird. Lots of vowels and consonants both flattened and rounded in unusual places (and sometimes missing), with a timbre that’s twangy and nasal at the same time. It’s a little bit Philly and a little bit Southern. Maybe the most distinctive marker is the long “o” sound, which comes out more like “eyoh” (sort of). Search “Baltimore accent” on YouTube and you’ll get some idea.

What is a “hon”?

“Hon” is an all-purpose address used by many working-class Baltimorean women of older generations—it’s kind of like the hyperlocal version of “sweetie.” In recent years, the term has been adapted to stand in for the women who tend to use the term themselves. Now, there’s an annual Honfest in Hampden (mounted in part by the neighborhood’s Café Hon) that “celebrates” hons by holding a pageant/parade where women try to dress like to like they imagine hons dress: beehive hairdo, clunky eyewear, dangling jewelry, garish colors. So it’s both a sincere public endearment and a borderline offensive stereotype.

What is lake trout?

Neither a trout, nor from a lake, lake trout is a local soul-food delicacy usually consisting of several strips of whiting breaded and fried and served with a slice or two of white bread. Don’t forget the hot sauce.

Why Johns Hopkins not “John Hopkins”?

Because that’s the name—odd plural and all—of the wealthy 19th-century philanthropist whose posthumous donation funded the creation of the schmancy university and world-renowned hospital that still bears his unusual handle.

Where is Wham City?

Wham City is a myth, an organizing ideal, a state of mind, a local arts collective/movement, and a song by Wham City guiding light Dan Deacon, but it is no longer a physical place. The Station North neighborhood, just north of Penn Station, is still home to lots of Wham City-related people and activity.

What time do the bars close?

2 a.m. is last call. There are a number of after-hours clubs that stay open later, though they’re strictly BYOB.